


Get To Heaven

by Theyisms



Series: Prompts: Make It Sad [6]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Atheist Character, Gay Character, M/M, Religious Conflict, Religious Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-13 13:42:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21495229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theyisms/pseuds/Theyisms
Summary: In the battle between the soul and the heart, guess which one has won?
Relationships: Demyx/Zexion (Kingdom Hearts)
Series: Prompts: Make It Sad [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1545109
Comments: 3
Kudos: 6





	Get To Heaven

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Worship

There was a song that Demyx heard on the radio the other day that tore his heart apart. It was beautiful and painfully honest, but it hit too close to home.

_ Without losing a part of me _

_ How do I get to heaven? _

_ Without changing a part of me _

_ How do I get to heaven? _

He’d been asking himself those same questions every since he realized he wasn’t entirely straight. He’d agonized about it for years and convinced himself that he would never make it to heaven. It wasn’t his fault. Demyx never chose to be that way, so God should understand. Why wouldn’t the oh so merciful, benevolent, loving creator of the earth not understand that he wasn’t trying to disobey Him?

The majority of his teen years were spent down on his knees on the edge of the bed praying, begging,  _ pleading  _ with his God to fix him. To take it away from him. To make him someone deserving of his grace. Or if he wouldn’t take it away, at least make him strong enough to resist the temptation.

Around the time he graduated, he spoke to the pastor at his church about his fears. If there was anyone he trusted with that information, it was him. The pastor offered him a tiny sliver of hope. 

“God means exactly what he says all of the time. The verse that you’re reading says  _ nor those who practice homosexuality _ , and that refers to people who actively participate in the lifestyle.”

From there, Demyx was able to draw his own conclusions. Maybe there was nothing wrong with him after all. If he simply continued to resist temptation and stayed close to God’s word, his soul would be saved. It was exactly what he needed to hear to renew his trust in his savior.

He didn’t expect temptation to come wrapped in the most gorgeous packaging he’d ever seen in his life.

College came, and he was assigned a person to share a dorm with just like everyone else. His roommate was a short Biology major with choppy gray...or maybe purple hair? Demyx could never tell. He usually wore it in a style that made most of it hang over one eye, but it looked really good when it was pinned back. His eyes were blue, although they looked hazel sometimes, and he had the most adorable, comforting smile.

He learned his name (Zexion) and his hometown (Radiant Garden) very early on. Zexion was very easy to talk to, and they became fast friends. He soon learned that his roommate was an atheist, but he wasn’t nearly as awful as the church had described him to be. Sure, he would make the occasional religious joke or suggest that there was a scientific reason behind every miraculous bible story, but he was never disrespectful about it. Demyx liked hearing his point of view, and felt comforted every time Zexion would end one of his explanations by saying  _ that’s just my opinion. _

Something happened between them. Demyx tried his damnedest to ignore and deny it, but he could always feel it. It wasn’t until he’d had a mental breakdown, and Zexion sat next to him for two hours reading passages from a bible to calm him down, that he stopped trying to deny it. Demyx loved him, and he told him so when he finally stopped crying. And it wasn’t the Lord's word that stopped him from trembling, but the feeling of soft lips pressing against his own. 

It kinda felt like heaven to him.

He hated how easy and natural it felt. He hated himself for staying right there on the floor with him and kissing him until he forgot how to even spell religion. Was this guy really worth his soul? All that he was promised in the afterlife...could he really trade all of that for a person?

The answer was no. Zexion was not worth eternal damnation.

Zexion didn’t like hearing that. That was the first time Demyx had ever seen him get angry. He tried to hold it in and be respectful, but Demyx could tell it was taking a toll on him. He decided that it would be best for the both of them if he removed himself from the situation. He volunteered at the local church more often and hung out with Zexion less often. Eventually, he put in a request to move out and not have a roommate. He had to have a very awkward conversation with administration about  _ why  _ he couldn’t share a room with anyone, but it all worked out for the best. 

Demyx...wound up alone. Of course he had God with him, and always would, but sometimes a person craves human interaction. People need love and affection, but he didn’t trust himself enough to get close to anyone outside of the church.

He didn’t get to see Zexion anymore after moving out. But when he’d lower himself to his knees for prayer at night, Demyx  _ always _ asked God to keep him safe.


End file.
